There are some things in history about which, we have no end of information. Moments such as Kennedy's assassination, Jesus' birth or the introduction of colour television are so well documented that we can find out where any number of people were at those moments and their thoughts, feelings and mindless musings on the matter. Endless accounts of the story, rehashed and replayed throughout time, enshrining single moments as more important than the rest, never to be forgotten by the ancestors of those who bore them witness.
However, some moments are lost. It grieves me to think that significant historical events have fallen between the C-R-A-C-K-S; Incredible people forgotten simply because their poor sod of a mate didn't keep a diary; Important factual information about how certain things came about, tossed by the wayside without a moments hesitation - so that we, living in the present day, are left to drown in a savage sea of speculation.
Whilst many a kindred fellow might wonder about more profound historical matters. I am a simple lass of everyday proportions and there is one historical enigma that troubles me above others:
Which came first, 'Orange' as the name of a colour or 'Orange' the name of a family-favourite fruit?
Seriously, were some friends sharing an orange one day, when one said to the other 'You know I don't think there's a name for the colour of the Orange we're eating but my it's delicious, unlike it's vegetable counterpart, the Carrot. Why don't we just call their colour 'orange' in recognition of the Oranges superiority!?'
Or did it so happen that a group of 7 nobles were assigned the task of naming all the fruits and vegies. They distributed the produce by colour and gave the laziest of them, Otis un Originale, the Orange items and set him to work. Otis' man-servant then presented him with the first of the orange goods to be named - a round citrus segmented fruit, sweet to taste. Otis, underestimating the magnitude of the task ahead of him responded,
'This is a piece of piss! Let's call it an 'orange' and toddle off to the pub shall we?!'
The scenarios are endless! To speculate without any real hope of knowing the truth is to suffer. Why did nobody think to make a note of it when they started calling one after the other? It would save me many a sleepless night if they had.
So, friends, the next time you notice a difference in how you refer to any given inanimate object, be a dear and scribble it on a post-it. Because in a couple hundred years, a pennyless minstrel will find it mildly interesting.